A Journey of a Thousand Miles: The Story Behind The Video Series

I would like to believe that the video series released in the past two months blessed you and not only blessed you but made you aware of things pertaining to life that you were not aware of before and also made you really ponder. You see, we live in a real-world with real people. Some of you may have been ‘cushioned’ by the grace of God and never been exposed to such things as spoken about in those videos but it’s not everyone who had that ‘luck’ I would say.

Paulette, who was one of our guests shares the trauma she experienced at a young age from sexual abuse, domestic violence to an eating disorder.

I personally had experience with sexual abuse from a young age by a church elder and unfortunately at age 17 got raped at knifepoint by two thugs, unknown to me, who reeked of weed. I had not recovered from the childhood trauma as I hadn’t received treatment for it at the time. Then as if to top it up, the teenage rape happened.

I went on to live a ‘happy’ life and indeed it was happy as I managed somehow to navigate through life’s demands and got myself a career in the health care system. Who knows, maybe my heart got tenderised by my painful horrible experiences and I felt I needed to help others. Maybe I developed a deeper meaningful understanding of what it is to be in pain. I started with General Nursing and during the three years of General Nursing course, we had a small portion of mental health, just as a taster, and not to be certified. My eyes bulged and I found myself being drawn to mental health more as time went on. I decided to return to nursing school and study mental health so I can be certified and work in the field. The Lord was faithful and I managed to get through with it.

Throughout my childhood, I was drawn to Christianity. My family were not believers even though my mother was also drawn to Christianity but unfortunately, they lived very far in remote farms where there were no missionaries. Churches were not built there. Eventually, as we kept moving house, we gravitated away from farms to villages were churches were existent.

My first church was Dutch Reformed, brought to the country by the Dutch Settlers who brought with them missionaries. God began a work in me since. I met my late husband and everything was alright as he was just so God sent. When he passed away, many years later, I met someone, and again in a church setting, who happened to be abusive. I tried to tolerate the behaviour and the treatment for some years, dragging the courtship even longer, delaying the real commitment, hoping things will get better but they never did. I had doubts about whether I would survive this kind of life in a marriage commitment. All my memories of abuse seemed to be awakened, especially as my childhood abuser was a church elder and this current person was in more or less the same position.

I got help with a ministry working with people who required counselling and deliverance and things got better on my side but of course, it takes two. As a result, I had to make the difficult decision to remove myself from further trauma before I got entangled deeper by marriage commitment. Then, afterwards, it seemed like I kept coming across survivors of similar circumstances I experienced, both in childhood and adulthood.

It was then that I felt the Lord was prompting me to open a platform about it and bring the awareness out for those who had never encountered such things and educate people, especially Christians, that there are people who may be in any positional standing within the church, who may be struggling in their psychological and emotional beings, having unhealed trauma themselves who then turn out to be perpetrators of abuse within churches.

As I met these survivors, it became more and more clear that God wants this to come to the open so His innocent people will be spared of the damaging effects of abuse. When these sort of issues happen within Christianity, or among believers, victims are often shut and silenced especially if perpetrators are people of high standing within Christianity or church. Victims are shamed and shunned if they try to say something about the abuse. They are often shut. They get subjected to mass gaslighting making them doubt themselves to even think they are the ones who are wrong. They get deprived of a ‘voice’. They then are forced to bow their heads and leave and in most cases, unfortunately, they leave the faith altogether, especially in the cases where the perpetrator is a person of high standing within the church.

I felt a strong prompting from God as if He was saying “ ENOUGH, is ENOUGH.  This got to be dealt with, my people are suffering”. You see, God loves the victim as well as the perpetrator. They are both His children, but God at the same time doesn’t want any of them to suffer at the hands of another.

That’s how I went on to write my autobiography, ‘A Journey of a Thousand Miles: Begins with One Step’ depicting all of the events of my life story, to share with the world and set an example to the church as well as the world that these things do happen and that victims/survivors are to open up so they can heal. Perpetrators also need healing as these poor people in most cases have been victims of child abuse themselves and especially in Christianity, things often get hidden and put under the carpet, avoiding shame and guilt as well as blindly hoping that somehow God will just miraculously remove them. Don’t get me wrong, God can heal anything but God up to so far hasn’t healed everything. People have been prayed for, for many diseases and needs, some get healed and we know very well that some don’t. 

Hiding behind a huge mask, and pretending things are okay is never going to help. High standing or not, everyone affected, whether perpetrator or victim, needs healing. Unfortunately, it has been found out by those on the side of helping these people with professional psychological interventions that, victims tend to come forth for help either accidentally due to other pressures upon their lives or intentionally. But perpetrators especially Christian ones, tend to avoid dealing with these issues and hide behind masks and continue to abuse and cause damage to the vulnerable. The Lord is saying, masks off, and let’s be real and admit humbly before Him and say we do have issues that need addressing and help is available.

Lastly, the reason I sought out to do this type of talks and interviews was that people can hear from the mouths of those personally affected and also to bring awareness of what to see in a potentially abusive person, the tell-tale signs called red flags.

In most cases, when you engage with these people, over time the tell-tale signs begin to pop up. As more time goes on in the relationship, they pop up even more. The problem is, victims tend to see or spot them but choose to ignore them hoping that the person will change. They try so hard to reason with the person but most of these people are grossly damaged themselves, and without professional help, they just cannot change. Victims are often advised to remove themselves from the toxic relationship if the perpetrator is not willing to do anything about their behaviour.

We will have more of these sort of teachings and educate one another about things that are hardly spoken about in church settings but they affect both the world and Christians alike.

Rosemond shares her story about being molested at a young tender age. Though she came from a good loving Christian family, this experience began to have a negative impact especially during her time at university. She shares about the moment she opened up to her parents and how Jesus began her journey of healing.

I hope you got something out of this. Look out for more interviews and educational videos in the coming months.

Thank you for being apart of what God is doing in this work and do keep us in prayer and support the cause by giving and purchasing my book here.

Till next time.