The Woman In Me

You are a woman, equal to but not the same as a man.

In the day that God created man, He made him in the likeness of God. 

He created them male and female, and blessed them and called them Mankind in the day they were created. Woman was created for main purpose of being a helper comparable to the man.  Genesis 2:18. The woman therefore is body and soul different from man.  Like all humanity, women are shaped by various things:

• society
• upbringing
• culture 
• traditions
• religion 
• core beliefs
• politics

The feminine soul strives to find its voice. All of the above and some of not mentioned here are likely to hamper that step and cause a woman to stumble  in finding her voice.

Society seemed to have made it a rule or an expectation sometimes that for a woman to be heard, she needs to speak in a ‘man’s voice’ so to speak. To be seen, she needs to wear men’s clothes. To count, she needs to hold a man’s job. And in the course of all this, many women lost their authenticity.  It doesn’t serve us or the world at large to value one voice above the other, the masculine above the feminine, men’s things above women’s.

It doesn’t serve the world well to deny that men and women are two different species. The world needs a woman’s caring, tender, loving feminism. It’s like having to compose a song. For the song to be perfected, all notes are to be found and included in it.

For women to find their voice, there is a need to find all the different ‘notes’  residing deep inside them and claim the right to express them. It may change from day to day as we are different daily and we have the right to be different. For a woman to find the woman in her, she is to freely find her voice and change her tune without being labelled weak- minded or fickle.

A woman who has found herself can express her heart’s passion, her soul’s wisdom, her body’s strength, her beauty, her mind and be fully herself as created by God. All women are the same. If one is bound, all of are and if one finds their freedom, the rest of us are free. When we find ourselves, we use our unique power to nurture life, to love, and contribute in building our world without feeling fearful of sounding weak when we speak in our unique feminine voice. We then discover that we were not just made for ourselves.

We will discover that, painful as it may be to birth ourselves to become whole, carries a great purpose. This is not only to become the best we can be but we heal, we attain the freedom required to be instruments of love. We will then give ourselves away, pour ourselves out in service to others, the world and we get filled up again to continue giving out.

• You are a woman, equal to but not the same as a man.
• Find yourself, find your voice, do not be silenced.
• Be free to express, be loud, be quiet, speak truth, and be true not only to yourself but to the world.

No one grows up without wounds. These can be emotionally, psychologically,  socially or even spiritually inflicted.  Paying attention to your wounds is not weakness. It’s a road to becoming the woman you were created to be.  Healing, is discovering the secret places in you, especially the ones you’re ashamed of, frightened of.  Discover and befriend them. It is a process. Let your inner you unfold. Find the mystery of your life.

Learn to say YES to:

• all of you, all of the parts, dark, angry, scared
• all of your feelings, the ones you like and the ones you dislike
• your tenderness, loving and nurturing 
• your wisdom, strength and courage 
• your fears, longings and confusions
• companionships and solitudes
• to being a woman

Say NO: 

• Without feeling selfish or negative 
• Your NO, compliments your YES

A YES without a NO's possibility,  is joyless. It leaves you unhappy or even guilty. It makes you feel like something has been taken away from you without your permission as opposed to giving freely.

Claim your right to choose to say NO to anything that is not true for you. Anything that reduces you from the woman you are. Say NO to anything and anyone who abuses your gentle and kind spirit. Anyone or anything that tries to break your spirit. No, to injustice, violence, keeping secrets and oppressors.

Say YES, when you really know you mean YES. Believe in yourself. Believe in your capacity, your strength, your vision, your dreams, your ability, your mind, your heart, your soul, your perceptions, your insight and your intuition.

Love yourself as:

• a mother
• a sister
• a colleague 
• a friend
• a wife 
• Believe you’re lovable and you deserve love.
• See goodness in you as created by God.
• Embrace yourself.
• This opens a pathway to receiving love from others.
• You don’t just give but you receive love.

The more you love yourself , the more love will flow to you and the more it will flow from you to the world.

• The main reason for a woman to live is to touch a soul.
• Do not apologise for being you.
• You are unique
• Accept help where help is needed.
• Forgive yourself and then others
• Rest and replenish
• Just simply be

Take time to hear your own voice. Stop doing and for a time forget about the should do’s, must do’s, have to do’s, roles etc

This gives you time to discover your God given purpose, direction, and vision.

False sources of identity; 

• Career
• Partner
• Friends
• Colleagues
• Authority figures
• Accomplishments
• Roles
• People’s expectations

Behind these, there’s the real you. Women are created just like men, in the image of God.  It is not in the image of  some women in the Bible as many times we hear . Ruth, Esther, Rahab, Sarah or anybody. It is not in the image of the Proverbs 31 woman , but of God. These women are good, have qualities and virtues, don’t get it wrong, but emphasis here is made on the fact that only God’s image and character, a woman is made after and she is to aspire to get to that one.

Biblically, as women we are unique. Our unique character and God designed image is in Genesis 1:26-27.

The Bible speaks of the creation of woman in Genesis 2:18.

This is the reason she was created for as mentioned in the beginning of this article. A ‘ helper’ for the man God created before her.

Suitable for her male counterpart. This is not being a maid but more like being a walking aid. Now, what does a walking aid do? It enables the user to walk. Simple. It strengthens weak legs. The weakness may be due to ill health, tiredness or big task.

A Woman is created in God’s image- God is a Helper, Deuteronomy 8:29. 

The Holy Spirit is also a Helper. John 14:26. Not only is a woman made in the image and character of God but the Holy Spirit.

Characteristics of God:

• He defends Exodus 18:4
• He cares for the oppressed Psalm 10:14
• He rescues the needy Psalm 72:12-14
• He comforts Psalm 86: 17
• He supports/ shields/ protects  Psalm 20:2

Women are called, created and fashioned with all of the above virtues. We are called to be like God. He called us to be strong helpers and advocates wherever we are. Women of the Bible helped:

• Ruth helped Naomi ( Ruth 1:16)
• Mary helped Jesus ( Luke 1:38) 
• Phoebe helped Paul ( Rom 16:1-2) 
• Louise and Eunice helped Timothy ( 2 Tim 1:5)

For most, be it

-single longing for marriage, 

-married who longs for a loving husband

-divorced who’s marriage ended in betrayal

-widow who carries a hole in her heart.

The fall marred the image of God in them.  It marred the environment in which they live . We live in a fallen world.

Most of the women on earth have not discovered what God has created them to be. They have not learnt about all that is taught in this article.

May the Lord God, the Creator of all humanity, direct and guide you in the path of knowing the true unique you in Him.

In His Service