THE STORY OF JOB AND WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM IT
In this chapter we are introduced to Job’s three friends who have come to comfort him. But they don’t help him, instead their words of accusation only add to Job’s torment. They say things you should never hear a friend say. In Christianity, a friend may be represented by a fellow believer, an Authority figure , a mentor, a leader or anyone who put themselves at a position of judge.
Let’s meet them in Job 2:11-13:
“When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out to travel and meet together by agreement to go and sympathise with him and comfort him.
When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognise him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.”
Now if that were all we ever knew about these three friends, they would have been heroes.
But instead they started talking and became zeroes!
A great deal of the message in the book is about speeches given by these friends and Job’s response to each one.
These three friends basically say the same thing: “Job, you are suffering because you are wicked.”
Their speeches follow a pattern: Eliphaz speaks first, indicating he’s probably the oldest. Then Job responds to Eliphaz. Then Bildad speaks, and Job responds. Then Zophar speaks, and Job responds. This cycle repeats itself three full times.
Time won’t allow us to examine every word they spoke.
But let’s look at the attitudes expressed by these friends and how they show us both the wrong way and the right way to help a friend who’s suffering.
A. THE WRONG WAY TO HELP A FRIEND WHO’S HURTING, SUFFERING or IN NEED of HELP.
Much of what the friends said was theologically correct, we can all agree on this. It was from the Bible and was the Word of God.
But, they made two fundamental mistakes.
If you’re trying to help a hurting, suffering or a friend in need, you must avoid these two errors.
Don’t make false assumptions about why they’re suffering.
False assumptions are not only ungodly but can be quickly be used by the enemy to inflict more pain onto the other person, kill the little faith they had, and push them further away from the hope they had in God .
False Assumptions make you an instrument in the hand of the enemy to help further destroy another child of God.
It’s a dangerous thing to make false assumptions!
False assumptions lead to false conclusions, which lead to wrong actions and wrong hurtful judgemental utterances.
Job’s friends assumed only bad people suffer. So since Job was suffering, they concluded he was hiding some deep, dark sin. So instead of helping him, their words only added to his misery.
Eliphaz said to Job: “Is not your wickedness great? Are not your sins endless? You demanded security from your brothers for no reason; you stripped men of their clothing, leaving them naked...And you sent widows away empty-handed and broke the strength of the fatherless. That is why snares are all around you, why sudden peril terrifies you, why it is so dark you cannot see, and why a flood of water covers you.” (Job 22:5-6; 9-11)
There is no evidence Job did any of those things. In fact, in Chapters 1 and 2 God says Job was a man who was blameless and upright, and a man who shunned evil. When you are trying to help a friend who is hurting, be careful you don’t make the same mistake.
2. Don’t make faulty assertions about God’s Will
How many times have you heard coming from so many believer’s mouths that corona virus pandemic came as a result of punishment from God fir the sins of the world? How many times?
Don’t get me wrong, it could be true, it may not be true. Who. Knows exactly what’s happening? Who knows what God is doing? Nobody. Not you, not me.
Judgement belongs to God, and Him only, who can see the hidden things that no man can see.
You’re on dangerous ground whenever you make sweeping statements about what is and isn’t God’s Will. If the Bible says something is God’s Will, then believe it. Anything beyond that is speculation. Jesus said in Matthew 18:14. “So it is the will of my Father who is in heaven that not one of these little ones should perish.” God’s will is to save, not to punish, not to condemn, not to mock and not to destroy.
Bildad thought he had God’s Will for Job’s life figured out. He said: “Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right? When your children sinned against him, he gave them over to the penalty of their sin. But if you will look to God and plead with the Almighty, if you are pure and upright, even now he will rouse himself on your behalf and restore you to your rightful place.” (Job 8:3-6)
Bildad claimed to be God’s spokesperson. He was busy telling Job the reason his children died was because they were sinners, and if Job repented that God would restore him.
Be careful when anyone starts trying to tell you what God’s Will is for your life.
There are believers, even preachers who often say to others, God will not hear your prayer because of 1,2,3. Whatever reason they feel suits the person’s situation. How on earth can any living soul know for sure if God will or will not hear or answer someone’s prayer? How sure can any person be with this?
If God answers your prayer, why wouldn’t He answer the other person’s prayer? What makes you special?
Some say, because of sin in the person’s life. If God was controlled by people’s sins, no one would be saved including all of us. We were saved, when we were still sinners. You can’t be saved unless you are a sinner.
Romans 5:8. We called upon the Name of the Lord and He saved us. Acts 2:21
B. THE RIGHT WAY TO HELP OTHERS
In Job 2:11-13 , Job’s friends started out doing the right thing. They cried with him. They put on sackcloth and ashes and sat with him for seven days without saying anything. If only they left it there and go home, they would have remained great friends. But when they started talking and not only talking but put themselves in God’s place, they stopped helping.
That should be a lesson to us.
I’d like to share five good things to do when you’re trying to help those suffering, hurting or in need.
Be there for them
The best thing you can do is just to be present with your friends during their time of suffering. You don’t have to talk to them, just be there. Display love, concern, positive regard and non-judgemental attitude towards them.
No words could express the magnitude of that type of love.
2. Cry with them
Job’s friends did what was right in the beginning by sitting in the ashes with him and weeping along with him. The Bible says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15) Tears communicate your compassion and empathy, much more eloquently than words ever can.
Don’t ever tell a hurting friend to stop crying. Instead, cry with them, that is if you do have empathy by the way. It’s not for narcissists.
3. Listen more than you talk
In James 1:19 the Bible says we should be “slow to speak and quick to listen.” That’s why God gave you two ears and only one mouth. He wants to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Some people claim a dog is man’s best friend. I think that’s because they can talk to a dog and it won’t talk back!
4. Attend to their physical needs
The Bible says in Proverbs 17:17, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” When you have a friend who is suffering, stick with them and be sensitive to their physical needs. Watch over them. For example a person who is grieving or suffering in some way, often is so burdened that they forget to take care of the simple basic needs. They may forget to eat, sleep, or take care of their hygiene needs. Don’t throw scriptures at them and preach to them. That will come later, for starters, just stick closer and practically help them.
5. Pray with them
It’s always appropriate to pray with someone. Don’t preach a sermon in your prayers. Don’t pray long prayers. Don’t use this kind of prayer as an opportunity to catch up on your prayer life. Just hold their hand, or put your arm around their shoulder and ask God to give them strength and peace. The effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much. (James 5:16)
We all one way or another have been too religious and stopped being human and Christlike when faced with opportunities where our friends, families or people we know needed us to help them.
Just stop for a moment and put yourself in Job’s shoes. How do you think he must have felt? When the very people who trusted and loved, were the ones who turned against him?
Sometimes in life we do get people in our lives that are like Job’s three friends.
Maybe you find yourself in a situation where you’re the one who’s struggling and you feel your friends have failed you.
C. LET’S LOOK AT THE BEST WAY TO RESPOND TO FRIENDS WHO FAIL YOU
1. Don’t deny your disappointment
The easiest response is just to forget it and pretend it never happened. But because these were friends of Job, he wasn’t about to let them get away with their false accusations. He refused to just put on a smiley face and just pretend everything was fine. Job never stomped off in a huff and said, “You’re not my friends anymore.” Instead he challenged them for their words of accusation. He said, “If I say, ‘I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression, and smile.’ I still dread all my sufferings, for I know you will not hold me innocent. Since I am already found guilty, why should I struggle in vain?” (Job 9:27-29) “You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you! If only you would be altogether silent!” (Job 13:4-5a) It’s okay to be honest with your friends or people at large.
2. Don’t let them make you bitter
Job was the target of hostility from his friends, but he refused to direct hostility back toward them. When someone insults us, our human nature screams out to say, “Yeah? Well, the same to you and more of it!” Job refused to become bitter about his friends’ false accusations. He could have easily said, “Just wait until you find yourself in my situation, I’ll just tell you how rotten a sinner YOU are! No, this is what he said, “…Miserable comforters are you all! Will your long-winded speeches never end? What ails you that you keep on arguing? I also could speak like you, if you were in my place; I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you. But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief.” (Job 16:2-5) He said, “I’m not going to treat you the way you treated me. I’m going to treat you the way I want to be treated.”
3. Pray for them
In Job 42:10: “After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.” Job could have easily said, “Get out of here! You’re no longer my friends.” But instead he prayed for them. And the Bible says it was AFTER he prayed for them that the Lord prospered him.
The Bible also say: “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,”. Matthew 5:44
CONCLUSION:
Many people, believers too, tend to judge others and treat them accordingly by things they hear about them. They may not even have met the person personally and got to know the person for themselves to see for themselves how the person really is, but just act so quick to judge and act only on what they hear from others who happen to obviously be the person’s haters.
Lesson:
Abide by the words of James “ be slow to speak and quick to listen.”
There is always two sides to every story, and it takes two to tango.
May the good Lord richly bless you all.
